He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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