we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
