He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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