So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Text me some of your sweat
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
