I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
