Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
This house was built for laser tag.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
