something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
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There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
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