Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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