Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
