Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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