so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
