I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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