he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
