Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
