So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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