He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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