i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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