Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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