Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
