he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
