Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize