Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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