this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
