Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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