If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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