Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize