Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
