wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
