Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
