Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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