The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's official drugs can't kill me
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I fill condoms, not promises.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
