From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
