The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
