I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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