pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you win again, gameday.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
