I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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