So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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