No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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