My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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