I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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