is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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