just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
