remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
