What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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