I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
