ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize