I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
