did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
