When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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