just come out here and I will go home with you...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
