The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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