Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
