And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
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We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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