so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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