i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
