pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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