what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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