WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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