So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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